Indenial

What is in it a human’s touch that keeps you in denial of what truly is the reality of living, when it keeps you from admitting that all you ever hoped for and have dreamed of has terminated.
What is it in a kiss that seals with in all the truths that need to be said.
It has never dawned on me that I was a victim of the “in denials” until I let go of my complete guard & gave myself entirely to another being.
Now I am stuck with a man with out a soul, all emotions once seen now gone to the unknown.
In denial I stand every time I know it’s time to leave but stay behind under the false pretense that something is going to change.
In denial, I find myself when he acts suspicious,
Yet I still believe that he cheating on me could never happen.
When I reject to see us die as a whole,
Dividing ourselves, as we become strangers all over again.
In denial, I am when I want to cry
Holding back because I am scared to show the weaknesses I have inside.
In denial when I talk about being in love without knowing what this really means.
When I talk about being in love with a heart full of doubts and insecurities
In denial when you have lost the most precious thing bestowed on a woman’s soul
At someone else’s cost.
In denial when you have accustomed yourself to be second place
Still with a smile on your face
Forgetting how strong you once were, how much you are worth.
I guess you can say I am a pathological liar for I have lied to myself again & again
That this fairytale “love” story has not come to it’s end.
Doubts, insecurities, worries are all linked to one another
Taking over your safety net
The fear of being alone is too hard to comprehend.
In denial when you believe you must endear all the ups & downs
Without awaiting for something in return.
In denial when words of love turn into words of hatred without witnessing the transition
Being in love, is an addiction
Much more dangerous that one knows.
It’s with in you unwillingly, not forced but welcomed to destroy everything you once owned.
Once you have felt the rush you can’t live without another hit
Mistakenly being captured thinking you’re strong enough to survive it.
In denial I’ll remain till my time is up,
Cowardly neglecting to my self there is no such thing as being happily in love.

"Love...Love to talk about it, Hate to live it."-James Dean Rubio (my little brother)